Last night, Fi Glover had an excellent piece on BBC’s Newsnight about digital feminism and the future of women’s liberation in the 21st century. She profiled Laura Bates’ “Everyday Sexism Project”, the media’s fascination with and objectification of breasts, including Amanda Palmer’s Glastonbury nip slip, as well as the objectification of black women’s bodies. The prevailing theme was that technology and social media is changing the face of feminism, promoting the democratisation of the women’s movement.
So perhaps it was inevitable that a story about feminists online would prompt a storm of controversy on the Twittersphere. Using the hashtag #NNSexism, the Twitterati engaged the masses in their own experiences with everyday sexism while a debate erupted over the role of feminism and, indeed, women themselves. One of the biggest debates I had was the tiresome, redundant, 20th century debate over the difference between sex and gender, as illustrated below:
@SkylarJordan It's a theory. It is not fact that gender is a social construct.
— Benjamin Pelc (@screwlabour) October 29, 2013
@SkylarJordan Exactly, sociology is not a concrete science. I should know, I'm a scientist.
— Benjamin Pelc (@screwlabour) October 29, 2013
Now, for those of you who aren’t aware, the difference between sex and gender is quite simple. Sex (male/female) is physiological. It has to do with your reproductive organs, your hormones, and your pelvic bone. Gender (man/woman), on the contrary, is a social construct. It’s the set of characteristics we are assigned, even before birth, based on our sex. Think of it as blue for boys, pink for girls. Dolls for Linda, trucks for Liam. It’s not a radical notion; it’s been debated pretty heavily for the past sixty years, certainly since the advent of the third wave feminism in the United States.
My position sparked a lot of vitriol, mostly from conservative (small c) men. Some of it was quite nasty:
@nby83 @SkylarJordan @mickyluv7 @Skip_Licker What the fuck is that anyhow? Looks like someone's camped up a very gay man.
— A Little Hoarse (@otherjpw) October 29, 2013
Others took to calling out the “sexism” of the Newsnight piece:
#NNSexism Such beautiful irony. Newsnight complaining of sexism has only women talking about it!
— Nick Williams (@Nick_d_Williams) October 29, 2013
No men on this panel. Everyday sexism at work right there #NNsexism
— Lord Skip Licker VC (@Skip_Licker) October 29, 2013
What was most poignant, though, were the women (and some men, like myself) using the hashtag as a sounding board for their own experiences with everyday sexism:
#NNSexism can't even sit quietly at laundromat w/o being harassed by attendant. Told to smile, take off glasses (to see my eyes), touched
— Laura Oliver (@loliv3r) October 29, 2013
Once told I was being paid less than male peer with less expertise bc he'd a family to support & my husband could do same for me #NNsexism
— Soraya Chemaly (@schemaly) October 29, 2013
Being told by a friend to keep a sexual assault secret because "Who's gonna believe anyone would fancy a fat, black girl like you" #NNSexism
— Apple Writer (@applewriter) October 29, 2013
What was most disappointing was the number of men trying to trivialise or completely write off sexism and misogyny:
#NNSexism Young women will complain about men pestering them, older women lament that they don't!!! FACT!!! LOL I AM SO CLEVER I REALLY AM!
— notfookingtaken (@notfookingtaken) October 30, 2013
.@chloewh0 There are no examples of real sexism. Just women with victim complexes. #NNsexism #Feminism
— Anti feminist (@FckFeminists) October 30, 2013
To say there is no evidence of real sexism is laughable. It certainly shows, at the very least, that one hasn’t been paying much attention to, well, anything. Just this month we’ve had Newsnight presenter Emily Maitlis speak out on the fear many women have of being “found out” or labeled a “fraud”, the United Nations showing just what the internet thinks of women (and it isn’t pretty), and The Great British Bakeoff finalist Ruby Tandoh defending herself against allegations that she flirted herself to the top. I mean, cos, you know, pretty women can’t bake well. Only male chefs and your nan.
Or they attempted to turn the conversation away from women and onto their own perceived grievances:
#NNSexism @EverydaySexism – a sexist advert which objectifies men playing on national TV daily. Disgusting. http://t.co/f98YS8lfbl
— Lee (@ElTenTwelve) October 29, 2013
Which Laurie Penny succinctly put down to actual, perhaps stealthy, misogyny:
It's v sad that men so often only speak about their own painful gendered experience in order to interrupt or stop women discussing theirs.
— Laurie Penny (@PennyRed) October 29, 2013
And of which I stand guilty:
Being told I couldn't be the victim of domestic violence cos we're both blokes. His hands around my throat was just a bit of fun #NNSexism
— Skylar Baker-Jordan (@SkylarJordan) October 29, 2013
I’ll be honest, it hadn’t occurred to me that by sharing my own experience I was steering the conversation away from sexism against women (which is 99% of sexism, after all). In fact, I thought Laurie Penny was calling me specifically out when she tweeted that, and it made me reevaluate my personal approach to the hashtag. After all, regardless of whether or not I identify as a feminist, gay men are still capable of sexism, and we have a notorious entitlement to womanhood and women’s bodies.
In the end I forgave myself. My feminist credentials are fairly well known, and while it was perhaps rude to change the subject in the middle of a conversation, it wasn’t entirely off-topic. In fact, I challenged Laurie on this point (and got no response, I should mention-though I do hope she’d agree):
@PennyRed Right, but until we universally acknowledge it hurts men, as well, we're never going to actually defeat patriarchy.
— Skylar Baker-Jordan (@SkylarJordan) October 29, 2013
For as the men who couldn’t grasp the difference between sex and gender prove, we (as a society) can’t even seem to get the vocabulary, let alone the conversation, right. So the men who actually acknowledge not only the merits of feminism but the hindrance patriarchy places on their own existence ought to be not only allowed but encouraged to freely contribute. At the very least we’re acknowledging sexism is real and tangible, which is more than can be said for a great lot of us.
That’s not to give us a pass, though. Patriarchy manifests itself in all sorts of ways, and the internet has proven that even those of us with the best intentions can sometimes stand accused, and even slightly guilty of, inadvertent sexism. In the end, Newsnight did a commendable job of highlighting the rise of digital feminism, but Twitter itself illustrated the dire need for it. Social media makes it possible, in real time, to illustrate tangible examples of blatant and even unintentional sexism and misogyny, and the Twittersphere was not lacking either yesterday. The rise of sites like EverydayFeminism and Jezebel give voice to women (and men) who may otherwise lack one, and perhaps it’s only a matter of time until we have a Feminist Spring.
Until then, let’s all brainstorm it a catchy hashtag.